Giving encouragement and positive words to others is not always a good thing, it could be that you have toxic positivity. Summarized by thepsychologygroup.com, toxic positivity is behavior that overgeneralizes and makes all situations seem happy and optimistic.
This behavior ultimately results in denial, minimization, and denial of the feelings that others feel. Even though it’s normal for humans to feel sad, angry, or disappointed when an over-positive attitude is carried out excessively, it can make other people feel silent, and feel guilty for their feelings. When that happens, it means we are doing toxic positivity.
There are various characteristics of someone or maybe you yourself who are trapped in toxic positivity, this is certainly not good and of course, you have to be aware of it immediately. The following are signs that you are trapped in toxic positivity:
- Getting rid of problems more often than dealing with them
- Feeling guilty when feeling sad, disappointed, or angry
- Shame on others when they are not positive
- Comparing problems with others
Being stuck in a situation like this continuously can have a negative impact on social life.
The Bad Impact of Toxic Positivity
When you are trapped in toxic positivity, it is not certain that people or you yourself will immediately realize, being trapped in toxic positivity also has a bad impact. One can think of oneself as worthless, downplay the sense of loss, and at worst one can ignore the sense of danger. This happens because of a high sense of optimism, hope, and forgiveness that ignores the sense of danger that is happening.
There are several examples of sentences that you may unconsciously say which are included in toxic positivity.
“Let’s cheer up!”
“You’re still better, I’m worse”
“Stay positive, throw away those negative feelings of yours!”
“Everything has a silver lining”
“Everything must pass”
When we listen to someone, we better validate what they feel first, for example, when a friend is tired from work instead of saying “Come on, let’s keep spirit” you can say “You seem to be hectic, it’s okay to stop for a moment, it’s okay to continue later”. With a sentence like that you don’t encourage someone to keep their spirits up even though they are dizzy and stressed at work. Now you understand what toxic positivity is, and hopefully, we will be more sensitive to those around us.
